Take Care Kids

I have been a volunteer for many years now as a sponsor in the Pattaya Orphanage, and each time a child leaves the orphanage to be adopted, I don't wanna be there. Let me explain this a little better. Many of you have asked me during the years, how I feel when a child finally finds parents and a real home. The first feeling is definitely happiness. Life in the orphanage has a very thight schedule.....similar to a military school. The wake up call is the same for everyone, as are eating hours and shower time....but the hardest thing to face is the absence of love and affection. Our nannies there are very good and caring, our volunteers are as well, but the warmth coming from a mother or father is completely different. Therefore, I feel truly happy  for each child who finds a family, but at the same time, I am saddened by the fact that a child I deeply care for and have seen grow will leave for good, and I will probably never see him/her again. That very moment, is for me, and for all those envolved the hardest moment I have to face. I never want to be there on those days, or at least I try not to be there, especially if the child is two years old or more. I can recount each time a child has said goodbye to me with tears in their eyes, and consequently ripped my heart out in doing so. It's very hard to describe the exact feeling. There are some rare occasions, when the adoptive families come back to the orphanage to show the kids where they came from or where they grew up. When this happens, the kids are generally teenagers or older, they have forgotten their native tongue, their features have changed and in 99% of the cases, even their name is different.
I went to the orphanage yesterday and I went to visit the infants (3months to a year old). As soon as I put my pouch away (yeah, I do take it off sometimes) a small girl jumped on me and asked me in her perfect British accent "what are you doing here?". I couldn't recognise her at first, but then her eyes and their depth reminded me of a girl who always chased me around a few years earlier..she was always trying to catch me, her name was Dumjay (I was so emotional I didn't even ask her what her name is now). As if time had never gone by, she started chasing me again. She has been adopted by a family in Hong Kong and since her Dad needed to come to Thailand on business for a few days, they decided to visit the orphanage. The biggest shock came a few moments later...as one of the older Nuns came close to us, she pointed to herself and asked Dumjay if she remembered her name...Dumjay was shy at first and then told the Nun in perfect English that she could not remember her. The Nun turned to me and said: "she cannot remember her own language". But at this point the little girl turned around and said to the Nun: "I can't remember your name, but I remember his, this is Khun Gio". I could feel my heart tightening at this point, but the strongest emotion came from our goodbyes. She hugged me really tight and said: "I will never forget you Gio Gio, Goodbye!". I still get tears in my eyes when I think about it.

In the meantime our volunteer Giorgia Abitani has left us to tour Thailand. She also said she won't forget all these little ones before she left for Chiang Mai. She was with us for three weeks and worked well with all the kids at the orphanage and in the slums, always bringing lots of love, big smiles....and candies by the tons....ouch! I've been having some serious problems in the slums lately. Uhn's mother is getting worse, she's often sick....a sad sign of the fact that her HIV is not under control...I fear for her life. Then we also have problems with the aluminum covers of the huts because they are full of holes and let the rain seep in. I will buy ten new pieces hoping in everyone's help. Last but not least, our Cambodian kids in Koh Chang...the pick up they generally use as school bus had a terrible accidents, the kids are all ok, but the pick up is not. It will need a lot of fixing to run again, but the most important thing is that the kids were not hurt in any way...oh by the way, we have two more children now so they are 38......I'll introduce them to you a little better in our next journal, til then......ciaooooooooooooo

Tck